Coping with Pet Loss During the Holidays

Coping with Pet Loss During the Holidays

               Losing a pet any time of year is difficult but the death of a pet can hit particularly hard around the holidays.  Taking time to remember your pet, practicing self-care, and allowing time to grieve can be helpful ways to move through loss.  Surviving pets can experience grief, too but there are ways to ease the transition of losing a fellow cat or dog.

• First and foremost, give yourself time to grieve. Your pet was a part of your family and the loss of a pet can be even more keenly felt than the loss of a human. We are close to our pets and the loss of a pet causes grief and pain.  Feeling tired, sad, or maybe even angry that a pet has died are all normal feelings. Give yourself permission to feel that loss and remember it is OK to feel all the emotions that occur with grieving the loss of a beloved pet.
• Don’t feel obligated to participate in holiday festivities if you are not feeling up to it. Saying “no” to parties and outings is OK.  However, it is also important not to isolate yourself. Make sure you have close family or friends or even a trusted therapist or online chat group in whom you can confide and share stories about your pet without judgement.
• It is OK to feel joy.  Feeling happy about holiday celebrations or smiling at a memory of your pet are also normal.  Laughing and being happy and enjoying the holidays with family and friends does not diminish what your pet meant to you and you should not feel guilty for enjoying yourself and remembering your pet and all the happiness he or she brought to your life.
• Practice self-care.  Taking care of yourself by eating well, staying hydrated and getting rest are all important.  Do things that bring you some happiness and allow you to take a break from grieving—alone or with a trusted person in your life--like watching a funny movie, taking a walk, journalling, or whatever brings you peace.
• Consider doing something special to remember your pet during the holidays. Lighting a candle or luminary, purchasing a special ornament or decoration, or making a donation to a shelter or other organization are all ways to honor your pet’s memory. Taking time to remember a special pet who is no longer with you can bring new meaning and tradition to your holiday. The first holiday after the loss of a pet is often the most difficult.  Remember, it is only one day.  There will be other holidays, other times to celebrate and remember your pet with fondness.

What about surviving pets? While some pets are unaffected by the loss of a fellow pet, many do experience grief.  Loss of appetite, sleeping more, and seeking attention or clingy behavior may signal signs of grief in dogs and cats.  Typically, the grieving period lasts a few weeks to a few months.  What can you do to ease the transition? Keep your pet’s routine as normal as possible and resist the urge to remove all traces of a pet who has died (like pet beds or toys) to keep your surviving pet’s environment stable.  While routine is comforting, engaging in a new experience with your pet can also help. Taking a walk in a new place, adding a new puzzle toy or just offering some extra attention can create new behaviors and memories. If you have multiple surviving pets, be on the lookout for a shift in their interactions with one another.  If your pet does not seem to be bouncing back from the loss of a housemate or if surviving pets are fighting or showing signs of anxiety, contact your veterinarian.  There may be calming supplements or other medications or tips to help your pet cope with loss and adjust to a new normal.

The loss of a pet can be a very traumatic experience. Remember, it’s OK to grieve but it’s also OK to feel some happiness in the midst of loss. Surround yourself with those who support you, take care of yourself, and consider creating new or special traditions to remember your pet during the holidays.

This blog brought to you by the Patton Veterinary Hospital serving Red Lion, York, and the surrounding communities.

NOTE: If you or someone you know is experiencing overwhelming thoughts of depression or self-harm, please call the Suicide Prevention Hotline at 988 or online at 988lifeline.org for 24/7 support. Lap of love also offers resources for pet loss support at the link below.

https://www.lapoflove.com/our-services/pet-loss-support

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/animal-attachment/201812/holiday-grief-5-steps-getting-through-the-loss-pet

https://www.petmd.com/care/do-dogs-and-cats-grieve