Permission to Grieve

Coping With the Loss of a Pet

  By now, most of you have read Shawn Downs’ loving tribute on our Facebook page to Patton Veterinary Hospital’s long-time resident cat, Midnight. Midnight was one of a kind.  He was self-proclaimed hospital royalty, “supervising” the front desk, sashaying through the halls waiting for doors to be opened for him, and demanding that staff share with him a bite of yogurt or a piece of cantaloupe, his favorite.  His routines were a part of our daily lives, and he leaves quite a gap in our hearts.  Midnight’s spirit will forever be a part of our hospital. 

               Midnight touched each of us in his own way.  While his death was sad, it was also an amazing opportunity to see the human-animal bond at work in the outpouring of love from our staff on his last day.  People stayed after their shifts to be with him a little longer, former employees came to see him one last time and everyone came together to surround him with love and send him over the Rainbow Bridge.  Some staff members had only known him for a few weeks, some for his entire life.  But each of us was present to witness the passing of a very special cat.  The PVH family is truly remarkable, and I feel privileged to work with such wonderful community of selfless people who dropped everything to bid our friend goodbye.   

               The weeks ahead will be hard for us all, but we need to feel that pain in order to heal and move on.  Our society so rarely leaves time to grieve.  We are taught to hide our feelings, to numb ourselves to pain and sadness, to rush ourselves to get back to normal routines too quickly. 

               The truth is, nothing is the same when someone you love dies be it a person or a beloved pet.  Instead of trying to make everything the same, I think we need to learn how to live with a new normal.  This takes time, and so often we don’t allow ourselves that time to reflect and remember the ones we’ve lost or to feel the full pain of that loss.  We all grieve in different ways and for different amounts of time.  It’s human to feel, to shed tears when we lose someone special and to not be OK for a while.  And, although we don’t always see it at first, as we move through the grief and sadness, there is also joy, for having shared that often all too brief time on this earth with a special pet. 

               So, if you have lost a special pet, do not be afraid to grieve for that pet.  Put away the brave face for a while and have a good cry. We all know how much it hurts.  It is OK to feel sad because we miss our friend. 

               In loving memory of Middie.  Thanks for all the years of happiness you brought us.  You taught us much and we’ll get through the pain of losing you together.  Dr. Walters

               For anyone out there who needs a little help getting through the loss of a pet, our next Pet Loss Support Group is July 12^th at 1PM.

               This blog brought to you by the Patton Veterinary Hospital serving Red Lion, York and the surrounding areas.